Words shape our reality. When we use them intentionally, they help us protect our peace, keep our energy positive, and build authentic connections.
I recently read an insightful piece by Christina DesMarais on Inc.com about how seemingly innocent language can sabotage our daily lives. It inspired me to look closer at the words we use without even thinking.
If you want to clear out subtle negativity and communicate with more joy, here are six expressions to drop today:
1 & 2. "Actually" and "But" These conversational fillers put accidental distance between us and others. As writer Carolyn Kopprasch points out, "actually" subtly implies the other person was wrong. Instead of: "Actually, you can find that over here." Try: "Sure thing! You can find that right over here." The word "but" completely erases whatever positive statement came before it. In improv and in life, we lean into "Yes, and..." to keep the energy moving forward. Instead of: "I really appreciate you inviting me, but unfortunately I can't make it." Try: "I really appreciate you inviting me! And unfortunately, I won't be able to make it this time." The Positive Flip: Choosing collaboration over correction keeps your conversations warm, open, and flowing beautifully!
- "Just" "Just" is a minimizing word that shrinks your confidence. Saying "I'm just a beginner" caps your power, and telling someone to "Just do XYZ" minimizes their struggle. As consultant Matt Monge notes, you are never "just" a title or a phase of life. The Positive Flip: Drop "just" and own your space—you are full of incredible potential, and your voice truly matters!
4 & 5. "Always" and "Never" These are absolute words, and absolutes lock us into a rigid mindset. Saying "Things never go my way" closes the door to growth, while voicing absolute negativity kills good momentum before you even give yourself a fair chance. The Positive Flip: Every single day is a fresh start filled with brand-new possibilities, so leave room for the wonderful surprises life has in store!
- "Should" "Shoulding" on yourself doesn't drive positive action—it just creates guilt. Psychologist Dr. Noa Kageyama explains that "I should be doing more" quickly spirals into negative self-talk and total paralysis.
Instead of an obligation, make it a choice. Swap "I should practice today" for "This afternoon, I am going to spend 20 minutes playing around with a new creative idea." The Positive Flip: Treat yourself with kindness and trade guilt for creative play—you are doing great, and every small step counts!
Refining how we feel starts with refining the language we use every day. Which of these words are you shifting away from? Let me know below!